Where did Summer go?

The past 100 days have been a blur!  Always happens that way, doesn't it?  Especially if you have children and work.  There is always somewhere to go, something to be done - always.  Not that I didn't slow down from time to time...I certainly did.  After all, it's summer-time!

My last entry, I wrote about my life's pace calming.  I am glad I took time out to write about that - sure gives me clarity looking back.  Lately, I have been very discouraged.  The questions that seem to go unanswered creep back into my every day and then heap upon that are the current reminders that our financial way of life is completely different.

It was not easy moving out of our dream home.  Mind you, my dream home is probably different than what yours would be, but for us, it was what we had dreamed of...near the country, the newness, the schools and friends for our children, the community;  everything was just the way we had always prayed for our family.  So, when we were forced to leave it due to so many unavoidable circumstances, it was and still is heartbreaking.  Amazing how material things can flex your emotions to the extent you grieve when you lose them.  How do you begin to tell your children that you are going to turn their lives up-side-down?  It's heartbreaking and in this economy, I've seen more of it happening.

However, God shakes me hard when I know of friends who suffer mentally or physically, wives who lose their spouse or have children hurting from some physical condition.  How ashamed I should be that material things shake my faith!  God loves me, this I certainly know!  These trials are how He wishes to bless me!   I need to be shaken - I need to be reminded of how loved I am that He chooses me, He chooses to grow me!  My home is not here on Earth, my home is in heaven folks!  That is where I should be laying my treasure!

I thank my God above that I am just the clay, but He is the potter!  As that old and wonderful saying goes, I am so thankful He isn't done with me yet!

Love & Hugs,
JJ

Blessings

I can feel life slowing to a steady pace once again.  Chaos is not my favorite atmosphere and I do believe if we let our guards down, it will engulf us.  I admit, I feel like I was teetering on being engulfed.  Not a comfortable place!  I have settled into a new job, a couple of them actually.  I am working as a church secretary and also subbing at local schools to make up the difference in days. I rather like it this way compared to years past when I worked one place, 8 + hours...the variety is nice.  I am home by the time my boys get off of the bus, sometimes sooner and I'm able to be with them at home everyday.  I love this!  Took going through some storms to get to this sort of calm, but I feel blessed to have been taught some valuable lessons.


I have always been one to be thankful for challenges and try my best to see God's hand in the midst of trials. However difficult, even in the middle, I try to cling to His promises. ~yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior ~~Habakkuk 3:18 Amen!


Our most recent and difficult season is only a few short weeks in our past, and I do (now) see the blessings coming from it.  Some things, I still have unanswered questions, but a lot of those tough questions I had, I am receiving answers.  I don't necessarily like all of God's answers mind you, but I feel blessed that I do know He hears me. Oh, how comforting to know that!  My God, THE God of the universe heard my cries!  Wow!
James 1:2 ~Consider it a great joy . . . whenever you experience various trials.  


There is a song that's currently on the playlists of our local Christian radio called "Blessings" by Laura Story.  I'm sure you've heard it, but I've got to tell you, it's found me right where I am.  I love how songs will do this for me and I love how God has used Christian radio lately to speak to my heart!  Her song came from the heartache and questions through a difficult season when very early in her marriage her husband was hospitalized for a brain tumor.  Here are the lyrics:

"Blessings"
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home
This is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

So, my question to myself and to you who may stumble upon this and read:  Do you count your trials as blessings?  You should friend, because it is in these times we know as Christians that we are growing in Him.  My God chose me for these trials because He knew how I would come out of it...loving Him more and relying on Him alone!  Praise you Jesus for loving me so much!!

Love & Hugs,
JJ

Busy Life

This is an understatement for me!  Having a busy life that is.  Packing/moving/traveling and life rearranging in general.  The past month or so has just been a blur - like a dream.  I still feel that way today in fact.  Can't quite get awake and take it all in.  Like I've been dreaming for a few weeks and although I'm wide awake, I find myself looking around wondering how did get inside someone else's life?  It's surreal. 

I'm on a new life path and it feels different.  I know it's because it happened all at once and rather suddenly, but I haven't yet figured out how to react to it.  Who knew turning 40 would bring about so many changes at once.  I certainly didn't!  Does this happen to everyone?

There should be a book or warning that you get in email , or even a phone call telling you that turning 40 can bring about serious life change!  I didn't get any of that and it kinda irks me!  Oh yeah, I've heard of mid-life crisis, but that's not what is going on here.  I'm not running out for plastic surgery, buying a sports car or a younger man.  I'm not looking for ways to make me feel or look younger.  I'm having the rug pulled right out from under me!  Oh, and yes, I'm whining about it!

Reminding myself that all change is not easy is, well...not easy!  Accepting it and moving forward...this is my challenge.  Do I have enough courage to face it head on?  Do I have a choice?

Well, today, as uncertain as all this seems to me, I have decided that I might as well embrace it because nothing will go back to the way it was...nothing.  It's all different and I can either accept it or curl up and sulk.  I refuse to do that!  Did you hear me Satan?  I refuse to do that!  I know these plans, these changes are all according to God's will for my life.  I may not like it, it may feel really uncomfortable, and it may even make me mad and sad at times.  YET, it is ordained!  I am exactly where God would have me to be.  It's called having faith.

Through even this, I will be better by His grace!

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

Love & Hugs
JJ

Forgiveness and Peace

Food for thought:

Both were part of my morning devotional and both found me right where I am.  Don't you love how God does that?  Finds you right where are:  all alone in something and then leads you right to where only He intends for you to find Him!  I love that!  It's humbling, yes, but it confirms all the more for me that I am not alone, that I am loved and that He is always with me in every single circumstance...even in my pain and fears.

Colossians 3:12-17 hits both of these:  Forgiveness and Peace.  How can you have peace without total forgiveness?  You can't according to the Bible.  You must clothe yourself with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Wow!  Clothe yourself...to me that brings up an image of a wool blanket draped over my head like when I was playing hide and seek as a little girl. It covered every part of me so as not to be seen, no matter how much I was sweating under that blanket...I wouldn't move an inch until the game was over. Have I draped myself in tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience?  Nope.  I haven't draped myself in much of anything other than self-pity and bitterness lately, yet I've been wondering why noone is showing me any kindness in my circumstances.  Well, I've been too busy pointing out the ones that I think should be by my side and not considering the ones that have been glorious, God-sent friends!  Shame on me!  I have been loved through my pain by some patient and beautiful friends...I am so blessed and thankful.  You know who you are!

Humility is one lesson that I believe God is really great at teaching us.  Yes, our sins are forgiven as we confess them, but it still remains that consequences will follow.  Even loneliness I believe can be a result of an unforgiving spirit.  Yet, we aren't truly alone...we've just simply lost our focus.   Sometimes you have to experience hurt and anxious thoughts to get to that point where you lay it all out for God alone.  That place where you only have him to lean on and focus on.  Only then can you truly begin to forgive, love and be thankful for each blessing in your life.  Only then can you truly have peace.  It's only now that I am beginning to thank him for this time of humbling.  I consider this journey of jagged rocks and thorns a blessing and if this is what I have to go through to be closer to my God, then I say thank you Lord for never leaving me.

Be thankful in all your circumstances for God is in the midst of it all, always.

Love & Hugs,
JJ



The Great Outdoors

It's only mid-week and already, I'm needing the weekend to be here.  Good thing we are taking a family vacation starting tomorrow.  Taking the kiddos camping (a first for my husband) and then we'll finish up visiting with our families in Georgia.  I've been looking forward to this little trip for weeks now.  Just getting outdoors does something for me...especially this time of year.  It does something for all of us actually.  It's like resetting our clocks - getting our priorities straight.  Taking away all electronics on this trip too!  I know it'll seem like such a drag at first, especially to two tween boys, but I'm positive we all will end up enjoying talking versus texting!

As I mentioned, it's the hubs first time camping.  Can you believe that?  He's 40 years old and never been camping!  I'm excited just to see how he reacts to sleeping under the stars and cooking an entire meal over a fire.  He may start grunting!  He'll either hate it or love it, right?  I took my boys camping a few years ago and literally fell in love with the whole thing.  Setting up the tent, sleeping outside, hiking and cooking like cowboys...it was a blast!  And as much as I hate (read: terrified) of spiders, I actually didn't think much about the critters that might be crawling around on the tent or even on me.  Well, that is until I left the showers the next morning and noticed a huge black widow in the corner of my stall...yeah, I scared a few wild animals as I ran out screaming!  Whatever, I am a girl!! :o)  (note to self: take insect repellent)

I hope to take lots of pictures of our little adventure and I'll be sure to share a few here too.  My prayer for the rest of the week is just to re-set my focus on what blessings I do have in my life.  I have allowed my circumstances to rob me of joy and I have forgotten what is truly important to me.  I have so much to be thankful for.

Love & Hugs,

JJ

Giveaways!

Everybody loves free stuff, right?
Here's some of my favorite giveaways this week...

Lisa Leonard
Simple Mom - Project Simplify
Susan Heim on Parenting

Enjoy and good luck!

Beauty for Ashes...

 What a glorious, 80' Spring day today was!  I felt blessed that a dear friend asked to visit with me. Months can go by that we aren't able to set aside time in-person, but when we do, life has a way of catching up right where you left off.  I am blessed for friendships like this, most especially in this difficult season my family is going through.  Laughing felt good.  Someone that wouldn't allow me to dwell on the hard stuff, or replace her burdens on top of mine, but helped me look at all the good.  I felt like she was able to help me brush off some of the cobwebs today and it was the most precious thing I could have asked for.  The most important thing, I told her how much it meant to me that she was here today.  I'm trying not to take for granted the few in my life that simply want to encourage and appreciate me.

After her visit, several things seems less chaotic and more peaceful today.  I'm sure the weather had much to do with my overall spirit about things.  I had prayed last night, almost until the dawn this morning, for a peace like I haven't felt in a long time.  God sent it to me this afternoon.  Some of the changes we are facing don't seem so overwhelming tonight and for that I am so very thankful. 

I haven't heard this song in a long time, but as I sat down to write my entry, it came to mind.  The lyrics find me where I am today.  I hope as you read them, they find you right where you are as well.

Love & Hugs,

JJ

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

When sorrow seems to surround you
When suffering hangs heavy over your head
Know that tomorrow brings
Wholeness and healing
God knows your need
Just believe what He said

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear

Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

When what you've done keeps you from moving on
When fear wants to make itself at home in your heart
Know that forgiveness brings
Wholeness and healing
God knows your need
Just believe what He said

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear

Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

I once was lost but God has found me
Though I was bound Ive been set free
Ive been made righteous in His sight
A display of His splendor all can see

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear

Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair